PUSSY BY MADDY BARNES

It’s thrown about constantly, figuratively speaking, of course. I’m not envisioning having a chat at a bar and just mindlessly chucking cats and/or vaginas about, sounds messy, and wildly confusing to walk in on. No. I’m talking about the word itself, pussy. ​

My first memory of being aware that ‘pussy’ was a significant word was in a maths lesson when I was 12 or 13, in which we had to play a coding game whereby each letter of the alphabet had a value and we had to find words which letters added up to the sum of 100. And, lo and behold, the table at the back of the class, exclusively male (the ‘cool’ 13 year old guys who wore their jeans so low that you could see half of their off-grey Next boxer shorts), to hoots of glee and a prevailing awkwardness from my 30s something female teacher, the word ‘pussy’ worked exactly.  
 
.......‘Pussy cat?’ 
 
she said, trying to pretend as if she had no idea what was going on, whilst turning the colour of a beetroot and moving on as quickly as possible. I remember at the time being eternally confused at the situation, aware that there clearly was significance about this word that was a mystery to me, but unsure as to what is was, and why I wasn’t in on the joke. But of course I pretended as if I totally got it, as you do at 13.  
 
6 years on, I am now somewhat enlightened as to what the word ‘pussy’ means, and the connotations that come with it. Underage house parties and Urban Dictionary did play a helping hand, mind you. To begin with I just disliked the way it sounded. ‘Pussy’…it was vulgar, and utterly sexual. When one sex nicknames the opposite sex’s genitals a name predominantly said by the sex the genitals do not belong to, there is usually a reason why the sex in question does not own the word. And ‘pussy’, honestly, just feels weird to say. Perhaps it’s hard to constantly see your genitals in a wonderfully sexual light when you bleed and urinate and occasionally get camel toe, or leave your flies undone. But my issue with ‘pussy’ runs deeper than a lack of pleasure in the aesthetics of the word, no, I fundamentally disagree with the connotations of the word.  
 
‘Don’t be a pussy’ 
 
I work in a pub, and all too often do I overhear such comments. Comments that imply that a ‘pussy’ is weak, undesirable and moreover, cowardly. The very thing that, at one point, each an every one of us struggled out of to breathe our first breaths as tiny little people. Unless your mother had a C-section of course, fair play- don’t blame her. But this idea that a vagina is weak is utterly ridiculous. Without female genitalia the human race would not be able to procreate- none of us would be here. I would not be writing this. You would not be reading it. Vaginas are great. 
​

Although, perhaps the stigma is not targeted directly at female genitals but at females in general,‘pussy’ simply being a typically feminine word. This, therefore, implies weakness in females as a whole, another sentiment I take issue with. Female’s are biologically less physically strong than men, but statistically have much better mental health, and- not that this is a competition or anything- but we have Michele Obama. Yeah. 
Jokes aside, the implication that women are weak and cowardly and for this to be an embarrassing thing to associate or be associated with is a dangerous, oppressive and offensive ideology, for men and women both. It’s imposing the alpha-James-Bond character onto men, forcing them to be emotionless, hard as nails, violent and be having sex at least 12 times a day, never with the same woman. And for women, it says that our very anatomy is embarrassing to associated with, not exactly a field day for body confidence. Especially when it is used on such a low and vacuous level, so petty that to take issue with it is seen as being a ‘kill joy’ and ruining the ‘banter’. It seems to just be another subliminal form of everyday sexism. Oh the joys.  
 
Now, I’m not denying the fact that the word ‘dick’ is used colloquially frequently and has negative connotations. Or denying the fact that the word ‘vagina’ actually means sheath for a sword, all true. All sexist. Wonderful scenes. I also have no answer for what to call your vagina, maybe we should do a survey, or call for an referendum, purely to make David Cameron say the words ‘pussy’ and ‘vagina’, I’m not sure he’s capable of it, he could just about manage ‘tampon’ and that was all too much, 
 
Just like the cost of them 
 
- but- 
 
Let’s leave that for another day. The word ‘pussy’ isn’t the cause of societies ills, it hasn’t caused wars or mass colonization, but it has subliminally caused prejudice and pain to both sexes, however subtly, however small. My vagina isn’t a ‘pussy’, and you’re not a ‘pussy’ for drinking Becks instead of Guinness, man at the bar. Drink all the Becks you want, and tip me, please.